20 Journal Prompts to Help You Reinforce Your Daily Values, Maintain Mindfulness, and Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Insider Tip: Print this list out, keep it in your journal, reference before you write, and decide which prompt jumps out to you that day.

This article is for those of you who want to grow by becoming more dedicated to journaling but have no idea what to write or how to start. Journaling can be a powerful tool to reinforce your values, practice mindfulness, and foster a growth mindset. Here are some fun, engaging prompts to get you started, peppered with insights from great philosophers to inspire your journey.

Reinforcing Daily Values

1. Identify Core Values:

• Prompt: “What are my core values, and how did I live in alignment with them today?”

• Insight: Socrates famously said, “Know thyself.” Understanding your core values is the first step towards living a fulfilling life.

2. Value-Based Actions:

• Prompt: “What actions did I take today that reflect my core values?”

• Insight: Aristotle believed that “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

3. Integrity Check:

• Prompt: “Did I face any challenges today that tested my values? How did I respond?”

• Insight: Confucius stated, “The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.”

4. Gratitude for Values:

• Prompt: “Which of my values am I most grateful for today, and why?”

• Insight: Marcus Aurelius wrote, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive.”

5. Future Goals:

• Prompt: “How can I incorporate my values into my goals for tomorrow?”

• Insight: As Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Being Mindful

6. Mindful Moments:

• Prompt: “What was a moment today when I felt completely present? What was I doing?”

• Insight: Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, “The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.”

7. Sensory Awareness:

• Prompt: “What sounds, sights, or smells did I notice today that I usually overlook?”

• Insight: “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — Buddha

8. Emotional Check-In:

• Prompt: “How did I feel throughout the day? Did I acknowledge my emotions without judgment?”

• Insight: Rumi expressed, “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

9. Breathing Exercise:

• Prompt: “Describe a time today when I used deep breathing to center myself. How did it impact my mood?”

• Insight: “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

10. Mindful Gratitude:

• Prompt: “What are three things I am grateful for today, and how did being mindful enhance my appreciation for them?”

• Insight: Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”

Maintaining a Growth Mindset

11. Learning Opportunities:

• Prompt: “What did I learn today, and how did it help me grow?”

• Insight: “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” — Socrates

12. Forced Discomfort:

• Prompt: “What area of discomfort do I want to subject myself to today for the sake of growth?”

• Insight: “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” — Plutarch

13. Effort and Persistence:

• Prompt: “How did I show persistence today? What effort am I proud of?”

• Insight: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

14. Mistakes and Lessons:

• Prompt: “What mistake did I make today, and what lesson did I learn from it?”

• Insight: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Nelson Mandela

15. Future Improvements:

• Prompt: “What is one area I want to improve in? What steps can I take to make progress?”

• Insight: “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt

Holistic Reflection

16. Values and Growth:

• Prompt: “How did my actions today reflect my values and contribute to my personal growth?”

• Insight: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

17. Mindfulness and Learning:

• Prompt: “How did being mindful today help me notice new learning opportunities?”

• Insight: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” — Carl Jung

18. Values in Challenges:

• Prompt: “How did I use my core values to overcome a challenge with a growth mindset?”

• Insight: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

19. Daily Reflection:

• Prompt: “What are three things I did today that I am proud of, and how do they align with my values, mindfulness practice, and growth mindset?”

• Insight: “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” — Charles Dickens

20. Mental Dump:

• Prompt: “Put down any thought that comes to mind for the next 20 minutes, reflect on what you wrote and try to identify and patterns, recurring thoughts, or insights you can gain.”

By regularly engaging with these prompts, you can reinforce your core values, remain mindful in your daily activities, and maintain a growth-oriented perspective, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and grateful life. Embrace these moments of mindfulness and watch how they transform your day-to-day experience.

Now get journaling….

How to Actually Overcome Negative Thoughts

Your negative thoughts want you to be lazy, sick, tired, weak, and powerless if you let them. They are ruled at the core by fear, which is always driving you to feel insecure and inadequate about yourself.  But here is a little secret...fear is like the Wizard of Oz,  all great and powerful, but just smoke and mirrors when you realize the weakling behind it pulling all the levers. 

In this article I'm going to give you some different perspectives, or ways of looking at those negative thoughts that can help you pry away the grip that fear has over them.

1. Call Them Out By Their Name: When you start naming them you take away part of their power, because you are not your thoughts, you are the observer, the chooser, and the experiencer. Let that sink in for a moment...

If you don't learn to observe and choose what you do with your thoughts,  your thoughts will continue tying to convince you that they are you. But they are just too unpredictable and changeable to actually reflect who we are.

Don't believe me. Try this. Think about when you were 8 years old. What kind of things did you think about? Were your thoughts different? How about the people around you, were they different; or at the very least look different? How about your surroundings were they different? What about your physical body, was it different than it is today? Yes, yes, and more yes.  Your physical body completely changed, every cell in your body has been replaced since then, you are litterally not the same person. I think bones cells take the longest, at about seven years. The people around you were different, your thoughts were different, and your surroundings.  But you were still you right? Yes of course! But how do you know? Because you observed and experienced it! Boom. Ok so now you with me on this lets continue.

2. Imagine Your Thoughts Are Like The "Endcaps" of Shoelaces: Endcaps, you know the unsung heroes of shoelaces. These small protectors keep chaos and shoelace fray at bay. Similarly, we need mental end caps because, let's face it, negative thoughts are often quite stubborn. They stick around.

In the book "Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It" by Ethan Kross,  one study conducted in New York's  Central Park was referenced, which involved a research method called the "experience-sampling" technique. The study aimed to investigate the impact of negative thoughts and self-talk on people's well-being and mental health.

The study involved participants carrying around devices that prompted them at various times throughout the day to report on their current thoughts, emotions, and activities. The participants were asked to describe where they were, what they were doing, and to rate their current mood. The key finding of the study was related to the content of the participants' thoughts.

The study found that when individuals' minds wandered, and their thoughts turned negative, it had a significant impact on their reported happiness and well-being. In particular, when people's thoughts became self-critical or negative, it correlated with lower levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

The Central Park study serves as an example of how everyday thoughts and self-talk can influence our emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction.

Negative thoughts can be like unwanted guests at a party. They arrive uninvited and linger even after the event is over. Positive thoughts, however, often exit quietly just as we start enjoying their company. 

So why the asymmetry in their stay? Let's dig into the conundrum shall we...

Back in caveman times, a negative thought was like a survival instinct. Imagine you're that caveman, and you spot a saber-toothed tiger in the shadows. Your brain would send out alarms – negative thought alert! Your survival depended on analyzing every angle of that threat. Is it hungry? Is it stalking? Sticky negativity could save your life then.

Fast-forward to now. No more lurking tigers, but our brains still do their ancient dance. Our body reacts similarly to a modern stressor, like the anxiety of a presentation, as it would to a prehistoric predator. It's like dialing 911 for a paper cut – a major response for minor issues.

This point reminds me of one of Mark Twain's hallmark jokes, which goes something like, "I've suffered a lot of things in my life, some of which actually happened."

Our minds often wage bigger battles than reality demands. Suffering, in this case, is the mind's twist on pain, not its literal twin, as Lord Byron so proposed.

The fix?

3. Recognize the negative loop. Simple, right? In today's complex world, simplicity is the hard part. With this technique you have the key to most mental health issues. Simply start to notice the moment you begin to feel discomfort. This could be anyform of discomfort (feeling, thought, temperature outside, negative weather, tired, angry, lonely, and on and on).

When you gain the ability to notice the moment you're uncomfortable, you've literally almost won. Rollo May the famous Psychologist once said in his book "Freedom and Destiny," that in between the stimulus and our response, is space, and in that space is our power to choose." Think of it like a traffic light, if your going steady and ignore the yellow light and keep going until its too late and turns read you get yourself into trouble really quick. In the same way, we need to notice when our bodies yellow light has flickered on.  A warning light in your car dash is there for a reason, it tells you that you need to service your vehicle. So for you service yourself.

Here's one good trick I use often from The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Work Book by McKay, Wood, and Brantly. When you get a negative thought, or experience a sensation of discomfort, think of the word REST.

R- Relax (take some breaths) create some space from what just happened.

E- Evaluate (am I any danger, is anyone else) do a quick assessment of the situation, you don't need to figure it all out right then.

S- Set and Intention (use a technique), do I need to take a break, take a walk, think some more, do some breath work, before I resume or return to the thought or situation.

T- Take Action - self explanatory.

4. Talk Back to The Thoughts: Talk back to those negative thoughts. Apply a positive "end cap" to them, and watch them fade. But there's more. It's in the tone – how we talk to ourselves.

In Transactional Analysis, a psychological theory, we have three ego states: Child, Parent, and Adult.

Our inner child ego may start to cause us to worry and doubt, becoming fearful and self-defeating, fearing the unknown like a trepidatious child. Imagine talking to yourself as if you were a nurturing parent, providing guidance and reassurance. "You've got this," you say, offering a virtual pat on the back. But beware, the Parent mode can also be overly critical – the inner nag that chips away at your confidence. Then, there's the Adult mode – composed, experienced, assertive, and in control of the situation. Picture meeting a friend who keeps their cool when life tosses curveballs. Your inner Yoda – calm, wise, a fact-checker. Identify with your inner adult EGO. The inner adult has no problem talking back to the negative thoughts. It knows it's not the thoughts.

Remember thoughts are like the wind, no one knows where they come from or where they are going, but we can recognize their effects. So we need to be careful of how we respond to those effects (our feelings), and not let them take over.  Besides, fear, as Steven Pressfield puts it, is a river a mile wide, but just an inch deep.

As you navigate life's roads, remember: thoughts are tricky, but the wheel to steering them is within your reach, if you can but push through illusion that you are your thoughts.  Embrace those end caps.  Life's too short for an endless tango of between self-doubt and fear.

Parting thought:

"The only limits you have are the limits you believe." - Wayne Dyer

Believe in transforming thoughts. You are the author, so write your script. Get those end caps; thoughts to guide, a world to conquer.

The Rhythm of Absorbing Information

Learning to Steep, Reflect, and Share

Life has its rhythm, much like the ebb and flow of tides. The key to a balanced life often lies in finding the right rhythm, the equilibrium between soaking up knowledge and sharing wisdom. In a world where information constantly pours in like a deluge, we must ask ourselves: are we drowning in the flood or parched for a drop of insight?

The modern age is an age of bombardment, with ceaseless streams of information from social media, news, calls, texts, emails, and more. While some of this bombardment can be enriching, like savoring a thought-provoking lecture on a beloved topic, it often overwhelms our mental capacity. It’s not an input problem; it’s an issue of retention and output.

Psychologist Jordan Peterson, the guru of articulation, suggests that we should only speak about subjects on which we are three times as knowledgeable as we share. In other words, our reservoir of knowledge on a topic should vastly exceed the words we pour out. This ensures not just eloquence but also a gravitas that captivates our audience.

This brings us to a crucial focus: controlling our intake to “steep” in the knowledge we absorb. Steeping, like a good cup of tea, allows us to form a clean and well-organized mental “fund” of information that we can draw upon. So how do we steep in the knowledge we encounter? We practice “uni-tasking” and we reflect.

Uni-tasking is the mindfulness antidote to the myth of multitasking. Take a simple experiment: count from 1 to 10 in your head as fast as you can without error. Easy, right? Now try counting from A to L as fast as you can without faltering. Simple because you uni-tasked. But when you combine both sequences, it becomes mentally taxing. Multi-tasking is simply a divide of attention, leaving you dazed in a haze of distractions.

While uni-tasking is about being mindful of the moment, reflection is the missing piece of the puzzle for many. Our minds need time to marinate on the topics they encounter. Learning is not a race; it’s a journey where you allow ideas to sink in, sometimes by reading the same paragraph twice or even thrice. The time you allocate to reflection should mirror your reading time. The more you want to articulate something later, the more time you should spend marinating it in your mind.

Then, you put it in your words, revisiting it to enhance your understanding. This is a form of mental push-ups and meditation that grows with time.

Now, as you share your thoughts with others, make Mark Twain proud by knowing the facts before distorting them as you please. Strong opinions held loosely is the key. Embrace the wisdom of exploring the depths of your beliefs, acknowledging that others may hold different angles of the same story. Don’t be the person with vehement opinions formed from a headline and a single line of search results. Instead, be the one who seeks to understand and share knowledge generously.

In the grand symphony of life, the rhythm of your learning is inseparable from your success. Remember, it’s not just about input; it’s about the way you steep, reflect, and share your knowledge.

How Do You Actually Process the Things that Have Happened to You?

In this article we will uncover the power of words; how speaking and writing unlock thought processing. I will give you five action steps you can take to help you process your emotions, and three ways you can identify when you've fully processed something (even it it's traumatic).

Bruce Lee once said words are magic, "that's why it's called spelling." In the swirling tapestry of our minds, thoughts often resemble a jumbled assortment of puzzle pieces, waiting to be pieced together. As we navigate life's labyrinth, the ability to process these thoughts is crucial for clarity, emotional well-being, and personal growth. In this journey of unraveling the art of processing, we'll explore how speaking and putting pen to paper are not just mundane acts but potent tools that empower us to organize, untangle, and make sense of the chaos within.

Processing: Unraveling the Tangled Threads

Before we dive into the power of words, let's unravel the enigma of "processing." Picture your mind as a bustling library, filled with countless books of thoughts, emotions, and memories. Now, imagine these books scattered chaotically across the floor. Processing is the art of picking up these scattered pages, reading through them, sorting them into neat shelves, and creating a coherent narrative that you can learn from.

The Magic of Words: Unleashing the Process

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." — Rudyard Kipling

Language is the bridge between the abstract and the concrete, between the chaos and the order. Speaking allows us to externalize our thoughts, making them tangible entities that we can confront, examine, and rearrange. Putting pen to paper takes this power even further, as words become permanent imprints of our inner world.

Through the act of speaking, we transform fleeting thoughts into audible realities. In doing so, we often find ourselves processing our emotions, fears, and even long-forgotten memories. The simple act of articulating thoughts forces us to confront them head-on, forcing clarity upon what was once a blur.

Processing Emotions and Memories: 5 Actionable Steps

1. Journal Your Heart Out: Grab a pen, a notebook, and pour your thoughts onto paper like pouring raindrops onto a thirsty garden. The act of writing allows you to externalize emotions and memories, freeing your mind from their heavy weight.

2. Embrace the Power of Conversation: Engage in candid conversations with a trusted friend or therapist. Sharing your thoughts out loud provides a fresh perspective, making it easier to process and understand complex emotions.

3. Mindful Meditation: Sometimes, the clutter in our minds needs a gentle breeze to settle. Engage in mindful meditation to observe your thoughts without judgment, allowing you to process them from a place of detachment.

4. Creative Expression: Paint, worship, pray, dance, sing, or create something that captures your emotions. Channeling your thoughts into creative outlets can help process them in unconventional and enriching ways.

5. Write Letters to Yourself: Pen heartfelt letters to your past self, present self, and future self. This not only serves as a therapeutic exercise but also aids in tracing your emotional journey and the progress you've made.

How do I know when I've processed something enough to move on?

Signs of Successful Processing: Unveiling the Clues

1. Emotional Liberation: When you've processed your emotions, you'll feel a sense of lightness, like a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

2. Clarity Amidst Chaos: As you navigate through your thoughts, you'll notice that your mind is clearer and more focused, enabling you to make decisions with greater confidence.

3. Integration and Growth: Processed thoughts pave the way for personal growth. You'll find yourself learning from your experiences, becoming more resilient, and gradually evolving into a wiser version of yourself.

Conclusion: Crafting Order from Chaos

In the tapestry of our lives, processing is the delicate art of weaving order from chaos. Speaking and writing are the potent tools that enable us to take control of our internal narrative. As we explore the crevices of our minds with the magic of words, we uncover hidden truths, transform tangled emotions, and find the strength to embrace our journey fully. Remember, within every word spoken and every inked line, lies the potential to unlock the door to understanding, healing, and growth. So, let your words flow and your thoughts find their place, for therein lies the path to a more mindful and enlightened existence.

The Tale of the Two Temples

There once was a pure white temple that was revered by many who saw it, for it contained a true spark of God. People would say even being within sight of it they experienced God’s joy and love. The temple contain a “Temple Keeper,” who was tasked with the stewardship of caring for the temple, guarding its light and only allowing the truly worthy to enter.

One day a passerby came asked to enter and see the spark. The temples keeper looked upon the passerby, and noted his kind and earnest face. He offered a promise that if he were let in, then he would keep the amazing joy inside to himself, and that things amazing such as the true light of God shouldn’t be kept in isolation.

The temples keeper was naive, and although she knew the value of the light inside, and was trained well on how to keep it, she had been consumed by feelings of loneliness. This man seemed so charming and having him in her presence felt good. Unsure of when she would have another opportunity, she decided to let him in to see the light.

Once let in, the passerby saw the light and felt alive for the first time in ages, he decided that he couldn’t leave the light in the temple, and took it for himself. The temple became cold and darkened. As its light left, so did its keeper, for there was no reason to guard something that had been taken.

Meanwhile, in a far away land, there was another mighty temple that contained a other spark of God’s divine light. This temple was strong and the keeper of that temple knew the worth of the light inside, a true spark of the divine. The keeper was also wise and cautious, heeding the words of those who taught her. The keeper knew part of her stewardship of the temple was to learn to contend with loneliness, “some things are just too valuable,” she thought.

One day passerby came, with a kind face and asked to be let into the temple, offering to stay inside and never leave. The keeper so wanted to share the light with someone who would appreciate it and felt terribly lonely. But, learning patience over the years, said to the passerby, “I do so much want you share this light with me, but I just don’t know you’re worthy, and only time and your actions can reveal that to me.” The passerby thought for a moment, and said. “Just knowing there is God's spark in there is enough for me, I will build my house next to it, and contend myself with becoming a caretaker of this temple to show you I know it’s value.” The keeper felt connected with the man’s words and sensed an earnest nature about him, thinking “time will tell.”

The keeper was excited because loneliness was a thing of the past. Three years past, and the man never asked to go inside the temple again, and sought contentment to maintaining what he could apart from the inside. One day, after coming to learn his displays for caring for her and the temple were genuine, he was deemed worthy and granted permission to enter.

Upon entering and experiencing the light, the man knew it was of God, he decided it’s value was so pure there was only one place for it, right where it stays.

The temples keeper was so happy, for she knew this man was truly worthy.

And he her…

After seeing the light the man finally was able to exhale, his face had completely changed from excitement to utter relief. He exhaled a breath that seemed to be years in the making. He was wearing a satchel that the woman had never noticed before. Reaching in, he pulled out his own divine spark. For he had been searching his whole life for a safe place to keep it. He placed it next to hers in the temple and their light shined more brilliantly than ever before.

Why It's So Hard to Be Satisfied in Your Life

A century ago a weary traveler once came to the entrance of small village in rural Japan where he was greeted by an old lady weaving baskets out of reed. Embarking on a tireless journey, the traveler had traveled to many different villages in the countryside over the past few months. The traveler was searching for opportunity, and a way to break through the generational chains of limitation the people in his life had placed open him. The traveler had a gut feeling that he would ‘know it when he saw it.’

As the traveler met the old woman’s gaze, he asked her, “Do you live here madam?” To which, she replied, “All my life.” The traveler asked, “Do you mind if I ask you something?” Continuing, “what kind of village is this, and how are the people?” To which the old woman countered, “Well, what were the people like in the village you came from?”

The weary traveler paused for a moment, then stated, “The people in the village I came from, and as a fact of the matter all the villages I’ve visited going back to where I grew up, are all consistently disappointing to say the least.” The old woman raised her eyebrow to a beat of curiosity. Continuing, the weary traveler stated, “The people I’ve experience in my life are greedy, manipulative, and only out for themselves.” “I’m continually disappointed, and only want to find a place where there is a chance for me to climb to success and finally find inner joy.” “I know it when I see it, “ he finished.

The old lady’s face changed, as her leathery skin expressed a number of wrinkles validating a deep concern. “I’ve got some bad news for you sir,” she continued, “This village is just the same as all the others, the people here don’t really care about you, you have to scrape and scrounge for everything. It’s hard living.” With a visual tone of disappointment, as if his heart was crying out in defeat, the weary traveler slowly put one food in front of the other, walking in to the village. After all, where else could he go.

The old woman felt pity for the weary traveler. She usually enjoyed sitting at the entrance and keeping busy by greeting people as they came in and out of the village, but today she carried the full weight of the conversation.

About a week later, the old woman was busy weaving baskets at her usual place, when she was greeted by another friendly traveler who seemed to have been traveling for some time telling by the look of wear on his clothing and shoes. As this traveler came closer the old lady noticed a lightness and sense of calm with his presence despite his fatigued exterior. The traveler greeted by asking, “Hello madam, are you from here?” To which the old lady replied, “Yes, all my life.” “Well, you don’t mind if I ask,” the traveler continued, “What sort of town is this?” Without skipping the beat, the old lady said her usual rehearsal, “Well what were the people like in the town you came from?” With a similar cadence, the traveler beamed with joy when he started talking about his recent experiences. “The people in the town I came from were amazing. They were so warm and friendly, and knew how to enjoy life. “ “Yes, I think anyone could have lived there for ever, given all the opportunity and community there.”

The old woman felt pride and joy when she started to talk about her own village. “The people here are just the same, we love our little village, and everyone here seems to contribute towards the greater good. I’ve lived here my whole life and wouldn’t live anywhere else. “Thanks,” the traveler said, ending on a high pitch, smile beaming as he walked through the gates.

_______________________________________________

Now, we all experience both traveler’s mindset from this story at different points of our lives. But what one key takeaway this story illustrates, is that we are always carrying the seeds of content or discontent within us, wherever we go. The duality of these universal personality factors is something eternally constant in all of us. However, we must not carry this truth about ourselves as a burden. We have to accept that there are universal laws of nature that prevent us from being fully content in life. There is a spirit of discontent in all of us, and we have to learn to contend with that fact daily. The best way to contend with having a part of you that will never be fully satisfied, is accept the fact that it is a part of you that will never go away. If you accept that there will always be spirit of inadequacy in you, you can start to accept all of you. Then you will be free of the burden.

There is a natural pace of provision in life granted to all of us, and we have to learn to be patient and tune into its rhythm. Epictetus (50–135 AD), the great Stoic Philosopher, and teacher of Marcus Aurelius, who wrote the famous Meditations, made the comparison of the pace of provisions in life is his writings in the Enchiridion stating (Interpretation by Lebell, 1994):

“Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously. When dishes are passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. IF a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. Or if the portion hasn’t been passed to you yet, patiently wait your turn. Carry over this same attitude of polite restraint and gratitude to your children, spouse, career, and finances. There is no need to yearn, envy, and grab. You will get your frightful portion when it is your time.”

Epictetus believed that the natural rhythm or pace of provision in life was an unchanging universal law. We also see this illustrated in the Bible when Jesus mentioned (BibleHub, 2011):

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worry add a single hour to your life?”

There is a natural pace of provision in life controlled by God’s hand. We can start to develop patience and acceptance for the provisions God gives for us by tuning into HIS rhythm, or in other words identifying the things (behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, things, and people) we are clinging to or trying to force that keep us from living in the moment to moment. For example, you might say, I if I could just get a promotion, then I’ll really be satisfied. But that line of logic is flawed. In fact, if you were to get the promotion, you would still be unhappy. Why? Well, because you carried yourself there. If we don’t learn to look inside ourselves for the things were holding onto or trying to force, and develop ways to release the hold of those things, we remained burdened and are sabotaging ourselves from finding the joy in now, were endless blessings and opportunity reside.

Ok so now you may be thinking. How do I create inner joy and fulfillment? To do this, we have to learn balance between applying constant grace to ourselves, while simultaneously practicing discipline. We can never break the bonds of trying to, as Berné Brown puts it, “please, perform, perfect, and prove” (Beattie, 2019). I mention this problem in The Four Pillars of Radical Forgiveness, by highlighting that we tend to fix our attention and shine our light on the outside world, and tell ourselves the solution to our problems lie somewhere externally. However, our healing truly comes from within.

Here are three things you can start doing to help you cultivate contentment and fulfillment:

1. Each day identify 3 events (time and place) where you will be 100% present and try to enjoy the moment. This may be something like, “Conversation at the dinner table, enjoying my drive to work, cleaning my house.”

2. Spend more time alone with just the sound of your voice. Do you like the way you talk to yourself? Do you ever engage in distractions to keep you from being with your own thoughts? Our brain is powerful beyond measure, but if we don’t use it and let it use us, it will dictate our inner experience for us. Learn to be comfortable with yourself more by spending more time not being distracted and listen your own voice. We all need time to process barrage of stimulation every day life has to offer.

3. Practice periods of focused meditation. Full disclosure, this simple two-step technique requires some discomfort and boredom. But the benefits are incalculable. 1) Simply sit focused on observing your breath. You’ll notice when you do you’ll immediately want to control it. This gets frustrating but eventually you will develop the ability to simply observe. It’s a practice of letting go. 2) Next, when you mind wanders, which it will, gently bring it back to your breath. This is the part that is slightly uncomfortable and a little boring after a while, but this applies to all those situations in your life, where you are negatively affected by your thoughts, and catching yourself, and bringing your thoughts back to the present, helps prevent over-attaching to those thoughts, which can cause rumination. Start by doing this 3–5 minutes a day, before your able to add more time.

One of my old Pastors Heath Hardesty, once stated, “What you steep in changes you.” Which I’ve come to wholeheartedly agree. Therefore for any technique to truly work, you really have to steep in it for a while. A teabag dropped in water doesn’t turn into tea right way. It takes time and immersion for a transformation to take place. So in applying any of these techniques you’ll have to keep at them a while until you develop the necessary mental muscle for them to be applied second nature.

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References

Beattie, Karen, (2019). Four Destructive Traits of Perfectionism. https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/4destructivetraitsofperfectionismfromDrBrenBrown#:~:text=Perfectionism%20is%20not%20self%2Dimprovement,perform%2C%20perfect%2C%20prove.%E2%80%9D

BibleHub.com (2011). Matthew 6. https://biblehub.com/niv/matthew/6.htm

Stevenson, D. (n.d.). The Meditations. The Internet Classic Archive: http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html

Lebell, S. (1994). The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness. MJF Books, NY.